Bernard’s days out
Having recently been featured in your magazine Have Your Say it is with pleasure and thanks to Tony Massey and your staff that I acknowledge your autobiographical inclusion in this excellent editorial publication.
That's all the big words accounted for, I can now get back to normal and introduce myself to your readers so here goes. Hi folks Bernard Collins here, having been in show business since I was fifteen, in every aspect covering the whole spectrum of entertainment, don't let it worry you if you've never heard of me, I've never heard of you either. It's a fact that, of all the star celebrity and famous people I know and have worked with, I am the only one I've never heard of.
Now to get back to my Ancoats background, I was born into a large family at 24, Cobden St. across from the very large Bannerman's Mill, on Bradford Rd. There had been fourteen of the original family members prior to my own arrival on the scene, my Parents had suffered a very sad and traumatic two years in which they lost mother, father and three children, twins a boy and girl and their eldest son. The twins with the deadly Meningitis; six months between each other, and Edward aged thirteen and a half years in a tragic football accident where he received a kick in the stomach which developed into a sleepy sickness, which he died from. However not to labour too long on this period, I merely relate this as I was considered a 'God given replacement' to the tragedy which had gone before. Lots of people in those days seemed to suffer all kinds of similar misfortunes.
I was very lucky in that I was born into a very talented family, my mother did fancy work. I took after my father; he didn't fancy work. (its all lies' folks! I'll do anything to get a laugh). One of my brothers thought nothing of going for a ten mile walk every morning before breakfast. He thought nothing of it at all so he never bothered!
Seriously though, we were quite a big family, but did lots of things together, for instance, Dad took all of us to Phillips Park every Sunday, and the ducks used to feed us! One of the days out I remember, was when he took us all to Belle Vue Zoo. We all arrived at the gates and dad said to the attendant, "one adult and twelve half's please".
The attendant looked at dad and waxing comical said "Are they all yours sir or is it a picnic?" Dad replied, "They are all mine and it's no B***** picnic. So the attendant, feeling sorry for him said, "You look tired, I'll tell you what, you stand there and I'll bring the Animals out to see you!"
While we were walking round I noticed a little old lady standing looking at the Chimpanzee cage, which was empty. She saw the Zoo keeper and went over to him and said, "The monkey's cage is empty, where have they gone? I've brought some nuts for them". He replied they're in the back making babies" (though rather more indelicately). She looked at him and asked, "Do you think they will come out for some nuts?" He looked at her and struggling not to laugh said, "Would you?" I'll conclude this short interlude with the hope that I have not offended or upset anyone with the contents herein.
I am now eighty three years old and miss people like my old mate the one and only Bernard Manning and the Legion of fellow Artists far too many of whom I have outlived.
P.S. Regards to Gerry Shields.