On the first day of Christmas my true love said to me
"I'm glad we've bought a fresh turkey
And a proper Christmas tree"

On the second day of Christmas much laughter could be heard
As we tucked into our turkey
A most delicious bird.

On the third day we entertained
The people from next door
And the turkey tasted just as good
As it did the day before

Day four relations came to stay
And the kids were good as gold
We finished up the Christmas pud'
And ate the turkey cold

On the fifth day of Christmas outside the snowflakes flurried
But we were nice and warm inside
And ate our turkey curried

Day six, I must admit the Christmas spirit died
The children fought and bickered
And we had turkey rissoles fried

On the seventh day of Christmas
My true love saw us wince
As we sat down at the table
And were offered turkey mince

On the eighth day of Christmas
The dog. he ran for shelter
As we downed our turkey pancakes
With a glass of Alka-Seltzer

Day nine, the cat left home
And by lunchtime dad was blotto
He said he had to have a drink
To face turkey risotto

Day ten and the booze had gone
Except our home made brew
And if that wasn't bad enough
We suffered turkey stew

On the eleventh day of Christmas
The Christmas tree was moulting
The mince pies were as hard as rocks
And the turkey was revolting

On the twelfth day of Christmas
We smiled and licked our lips
The guests had gone, the turkey too
And we had good old fish and chips

Anon. Sent to us by Marie Pandolfo