Jokes
Doctor, Doctor I think I need Glasses.
You certainly do sir, this is a restaurant.

It is raining cats and dogs.
I know I just stepped in a poodle.

Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Littus
Littus who?
Littus in and I’ll tell you.

Q What do you call a snowball with teeth?
A Frostbite.

Do you want to hear a joke about a wall?
Yes
You will never get over it!

“Doctor Doctor I think I’m invisible!”
“Next patient please.”

Q Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?
A Because it ran out of juice!

Q What is black, white and red all over?
A A sunburnt penguin.

Q Where can King Kong sleep?
A Anywhere he likes.

Q What did the big telephone say to the little telephone?
A You’re too young to be engaged.

Q What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
A You’re too young to smoke.

Q What did the big candle say to the little candle?
A You’re too young to smoke.

Q What is a sea monsters favourite food?
A Fish and ships.

Q What lies at the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
A A nervous wreck.

Doctor doctor I feel like a spoon.
Then stir yourself up.

Doctor doctor I’m going to die in 60 seconds
I will be there in two minutes.

I went to the chip shop and asked for steak and kiddley pie the man said “You mean steak and kidney?”
That’s what I said diddle I?

You are a bus driver.
Five people get on the bus, four people get off, three, people get on,
One person gets off, Two people get on.
What are you called?